1
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,532
Honey, I'm home.
2
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:08,500
All right, here comes
the grandma train.
3
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:12,570
Open the tunnel. Choo-choo.
4
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,006
Mm-mm.
5
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:18,277
It's delicious. Num-num.
6
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,677
You eat it.
7
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:21,179
You wanna open your mouth,
8
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:24,383
or you want me to feed
you to a pterodactyl?
9
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,586
Ahh.
10
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,155
♪ La la la la la la ♪
11
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,392
Aw, look at the good
boy eating his supper.
12
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,774
Was he any trouble, Mom?
13
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:39,398
No, he was a perfect angel.
14
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,936
More, please.
15
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,640
I met the nicest male
in the invertebrate aisle.
16
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,276
He helped me chisel
off some frozen squid.
17
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:54,079
Aw, hello, you
little sweet thing.
18
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,548
Grandma giving
you a good dinner?
19
00:01:56,650 --> 00:02:00,585
Whoa, the mama, out of nowhere
asking all kinds of questions.
20
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,788
And gone. Mama here, mama gone.
21
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,333
Where's mama?
Gotta have the mama.
22
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,357
OK.
23
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,661
There.
24
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,630
I ran into the same
male in the parking lot.
25
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,610
He helped carry my cart.
26
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,915
I don't know why. I
mean, it had wheels.
27
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,948
But still, it was
very considerate.
28
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,639
Why shouldn't he be
interested? You've got your figure.
29
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,409
Oh, stop. I'm a mother of three.
30
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,412
Hello, family... and Ethyl.
31
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,282
Look, it's your father.
Say hello to the loser.
32
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,416
Loser!
33
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,751
Am not!
34
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,253
How was your day, Earl?
35
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,989
Uneventful, which
is always good.
36
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,923
Anything new here
on the homefront?
37
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,125
Fran made a new
friend in the squid aisle.
38
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,595
- Uh-huh.
- He helped me with my cart.
39
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,862
That's nice.
40
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:47,065
"To the male of the house."
41
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,334
I believe that's me.
42
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,603
- Loser.
- It's refreshing to meet
43
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:55,173
a genuinely nice
dinosaur once in a while.
44
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,548
Oh, boy.
45
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,383
What is it, Earl?
46
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,252
Oh, uh, it's nothing.
47
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,087
It's funny, but nothing.
48
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,358
I'm chuckling at its
complete lack of anything.
49
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,495
Earl, do you want mint
jelly with your squid cakes?
50
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:17,929
Whatever, my sweet.
51
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,597
By the way, uh,
52
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,934
this, this, this fellow
you met at the market?
53
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,637
He was a short, delicate,
54
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,873
little wisp of a thing, perhaps?
55
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,308
No, he was quite tall.
56
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:34,879
But, uh, hunched
over and feeble?
57
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,682
No, he must have been
at least 50 feet high.
58
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,919
It was hard to tell. There
were clouds in front of his face.
59
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:46,057
Gary, his name was Gary.
60
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:49,427
Terror has a new name: Gary.
61
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,896
It's nice stationery.
62
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,300
"From the Law
Offices of Spikeback,
63
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,103
Ribcrusher and Fenski.
64
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,217
Dear Mr. Sinclair,
I'm writing to you
65
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,541
on behalf of my client Gary,
66
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,743
who met your wife
at the supermarket
67
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,846
and who would like
to take her as his mate.
68
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,215
Under section 4-1-2, article 9,
69
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,961
of the Code of the Wilderness,
70
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,186
he is entitled to do
so after a brief struggle
71
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,433
which you have no
chance of surviving,
72
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,357
insofar as my client is
73
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,227
nine times your
size and undefeated."
74
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,997
Gary will arrive at your
house Friday at 6:00
75
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:28,500
to take possession of
your family and home."
76
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,503
Friday. Friday?
77
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:38,776
Should you need assistance
in preparing your will,
78
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,445
we hope you will
think of us first."
79
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,082
Gee, that's nice of 'em.
80
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,184
I know they just
crawled out of the sludge,
81
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,153
and I hate to criticize
other life forms,
82
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,755
but God, I hate lawyers.
83
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,058
What does Fran
think about all of this?
84
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,727
After all, she is the
female in question.
85
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,897
I haven't told her. I wanted
to work out my plan first.
86
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,999
No kidding, you got a plan?
87
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,468
Yeah, it's pretty
simple, really.
88
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,938
Gary arrives at 6:00,
and I'm dead by 6:03.
89
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:10,175
Maybe 6:05, if I can hold
the bathroom door closed.
90
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,244
Well, pally-boy, just be glad
91
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,080
you're living during
the apex of civilization.
92
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,916
You know, in the olden
days, a guy like Gary
93
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,684
would have just
snuck up behind you
94
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,586
and bit off your pelvis.
95
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,756
Now, you get a
nice embossed letter.
96
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,791
Hey, what is this, cotton bond?
97
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:29,327
Will you forget
about the stationery?
98
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,829
I'm about to get dismembered
in my own living room.
99
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,032
All right, all right.
Strictly speaking,
100
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,401
I'm not qualified
to serve as counsel.
101
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:40,372
However, in cases like this,
there is an escape clause.
102
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,318
There is? What is it?
103
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,844
Well, basically, you're entitled
to escape from his claws.
104
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,279
The Code of the
Wilderness clearly states
105
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:52,317
that you have the legal right to
run away like a scared bunny.
106
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:57,488
So if I stay, I die in big,
embarrassing pieces
107
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,824
but if I flee, I'm
cast out as a coward
108
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,960
for the rest of my days.
109
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,029
Hmm.
110
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:06,731
They both have their advantages.
111
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,801
And the little train learned
112
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,404
that if you try and try and try,
113
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:16,207
you can do anything.
114
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,475
Not true.
115
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,289
Without fiber in your diet,
116
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,813
you can try till you're
blue in the face.
117
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,549
Again! Again! Again!
118
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,585
All right.
119
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,831
This time, we'll read
one of my books.
120
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,900
It's called Lust In The Swamp.
121
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,191
Mother, children's stories.
122
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,573
Of course, dear.
123
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,661
Hey, mom, check this out!
124
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,730
"Once upon a time...
125
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,966
Kirk stood poised
on the diving board,
126
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,302
his tail glistening in the sun."
127
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,137
Ahh.
128
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,207
A delivery guy
just brought this.
129
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:55,780
Oh, it's from that nice fellow
Gary I met at the market.
130
00:06:55,883 --> 00:07:00,351
He says he's coming
Friday to crush Earl,
131
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,019
take the house and kids
132
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:04,361
and make me his loving bride.
133
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,725
That's so romantic.
134
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:10,661
He sent some of his laundry
so I can get a head start. Oh!
135
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,474
I don't get it. What's going on?
136
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,800
Your father's been challenged
to a fight to the death.
137
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,301
What?
138
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,538
How does Earl
stack up to this guy?
139
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,776
Well, this is his sock.
140
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,012
Congratulations, you're a widow.
141
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,313
But I like Dad.
142
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:30,715
You're just used to him.
143
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,718
It's not fair I just get handed
over to some new guy.
144
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,655
Sweetheart, trust
me, you're trading up.
145
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,757
I'm alone in here.
146
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,163
Robbie, would you go
look after your brother?
147
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,344
All right, but I'd like
to go on record here.
148
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,969
I'm pretty sure
killing Dad is wrong.
149
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,108
How can you talk like this?
150
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,610
I love Earl.
151
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,845
I can't imagine
living without Earl.
152
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,148
That's sweet.
153
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,295
All right, we've
mourned long enough.
154
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,853
What do you say we start
cleaning out his closets.
155
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,889
Oh, I can't believe
Earl didn't mention this.
156
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,391
He's been carrying this
burden all by himself.
157
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,239
Yeah, yeah, he's a saint.
158
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,462
He didn't even blame me.
159
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,565
A lesser male would
have, but not my Earl.
160
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:25,269
You! You flirt with
some masta-Don Juan,
161
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,706
in the invertebrate aisle
and now I'm gonna die!
162
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,686
Earl, it wasn't like that.
163
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,143
Oh, yes it was.
164
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,845
Ah, there you were,
165
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,148
pushing your cart
seductively down the aisle,
166
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,084
swinging that tail for
the whole world to see.
167
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,321
"Excuse me, Mr. 90-foot
husband killer,
168
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,523
I can't reach the top shelf.
169
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,626
But if you get that can for me,
170
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,761
you can have my whole family!"
171
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,763
Earl, you're being ridiculous.
172
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,100
Hello?
173
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,070
No, Gary's not here yet!
174
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:02,206
Friday, he'll be here
Friday, and then forever.
175
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,576
OK, all right, I'll
take a message.
176
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,045
Stan, yeah, uh-huh.
177
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,148
Brunch Sunday. Right, got it.
178
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,717
All right, I'll tell him.
179
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,930
Earl, you didn't
have to do that.
180
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:18,590
I know how mad I get when
I don't get my messages.
181
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,825
Hey, what the heck is this?
182
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,961
It's Gary's sock. He thinks
I'm gonna do his laundry.
183
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,030
His laundry? He
thinks you're gonna do...
184
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,198
His sock?
185
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,866
His foot?
186
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,369
How many of these
feet does he have?
187
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,681
Earl, listen to me.
188
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,717
There's only one
thing you can do.
189
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,509
You have to go away
forever and never come back.
190
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,756
You have to do that
because I love you,
191
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,081
and I want you to be safe.
192
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,884
Oh, Fran, it seems so wrong
to give up my whole family
193
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,354
on account of one sock.
194
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,862
You're saying you
want me to leave town?
195
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,875
If I can't have
you here with me,
196
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,177
I want to at least
know you're safe.
197
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:05,436
Fran, part of me is saying,
"Hey, this is my house.
198
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,071
I ought to stay and fight."
199
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,240
That's probably the
part to get eaten first.
200
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,642
Earl, I can't tell
you what to do.
201
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,813
You have to choose
what you think is right.
202
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:18,283
You choose. Pick the one
where I don't hear anything snap.
203
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,319
Well, Earl, maybe you can win.
204
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,661
Maybe a guy your size
205
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:26,757
could beat a rampaging
50-foot dilophosaurus.
206
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,596
Hand me my jammies, Fran.
207
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,666
Oh, Fran, tell me the truth.
208
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,269
Do you like this Gary fellow?
209
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:40,505
Earl, I love you.
210
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,019
You're the one I want
to spend my life with,
211
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,843
you big lizard.
212
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:49,080
I'm gonna miss
you, Fran. I really am.
213
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:52,017
But I want you to be brave
and try to make a life with Gar.
214
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,918
Oh, Earl.
215
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,122
Or you could slowly poison
him over the next few years.
216
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,290
Your choice.
217
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:02,927
Gosh, Lyle, I really like you.
218
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,764
I just wish you had... horns.
219
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,599
Oh, that hurt.
220
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,168
Hi, I'm Spike Sterling,
221
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:14,372
president of the
Horn Club For Males.
222
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,141
And I can give you a full head
223
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,677
of long, luxurious horns
224
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,580
without penetrating your skull.
225
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,217
I did it gradually, and
no one even noticed.
226
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,586
- Not only am I...
- Robbie?
227
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,789
Hey, Dad.
228
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,357
As you know, I've
been challenged.
229
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,493
For reasons too
complicated to explain,
230
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,161
I've chosen not to fight.
231
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:41,131
But Dad, who's gonna play
catch with me? Take me fishing?
232
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:42,967
I don't know. Who does that now?
233
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,837
Nobody, but I was
hoping we could start.
234
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,805
Aw, gee, son, I
would have liked that.
235
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,846
Aw, and Junior.
236
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:58,516
When you're all grown up,
and I'm just a photo in a frame
237
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:02,287
will you even remember
the special bond we had?
238
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,291
Move over!
239
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,694
Oh, oh, the TV!
240
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,297
- That's daddy's little boy.
- Shh.
241
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:16,201
Wow, who would have thought
I'd miss my kids this much?
242
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,903
Oh, oh, and I have another one.
243
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,877
Ah, there's my baby girl.
244
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,879
Still blissfully ignorant
of her father's terrible fate.
245
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:32,516
Charlene, there's something
very important I have to tell you
246
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,886
in these, our last
precious moments.
247
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,421
Can it wait? Cause I
have to ask you a favor.
248
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,256
Oh, anything, my princess.
249
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,678
I've got some friends
coming over this afternoon.
250
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,006
I was just wondering,
while they're here,
251
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,596
maybe you could not be.
252
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,167
Oh, my little girl's
embarrassed by her father.
253
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,803
I remember when I was
embarrassed by my father.
254
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,072
And now, the torch
has been passed.
255
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:57,675
My baby's grown up.
She's ashamed of me.
256
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,710
So then, you'll leave?
257
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,913
These are the moments
a father lives for.
258
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,682
I built this family.
I raised you kids.
259
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,318
I didn't actually raise you,
but I watched with interest.
260
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,020
I have earned this, it's mine.
261
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,654
I am never gonna leave.
262
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:13,724
Ok, we'll move the
meeting to Mindy's house.
263
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,126
Fran, Robbie, come in here.
264
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:18,507
Hey, I am not going
to miss out on this
265
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,298
or any of your other
insulting rites of passage.
266
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,500
What's going on, Earl?
267
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,235
I have decided
to stay and fight.
268
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,138
Dad, are you sure?
You saw Gary's sock.
269
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,709
Bring on his socks, bring on
his shorts, the whole hamper!
270
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,846
Earl Sinclair is
fighting for his family.
271
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,915
And let no one
underestimate the fury
272
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,750
of a determined megalosaurus
273
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,097
who's not afraid to stand alone.
274
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,866
Here is the way I see it.
275
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,591
If all of us stick together,
then none of us has to get hurt.
276
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,727
But none of us are gonna
get hurt. Gary's only killing you.
277
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,061
Yeah.
278
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,075
My point is, we
gotta get organized
279
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,333
because this could
happen to any one of us.
280
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,767
But it didn't.
281
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,003
Yeah, and you're the
only one married to Fran.
282
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,839
- Yeah. Let's get lunch.
- Guys, guys.
283
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,475
Our buddy Earl
is in trouble here.
284
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,243
He needs our help.
285
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,946
So who's gonna be there Friday?
286
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,414
I got a Yahtzee tournament.
287
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,349
I'm getting my teeth drilled.
288
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,652
Next time for sure.
289
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,356
Boy.
290
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,226
Every one of 'em's got
plans. Who'd have guessed it?
291
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,162
How about you, Roy?
292
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,363
Hey, you're my pal, pally-boy.
293
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,666
I'd never desert you
in your hour of need.
294
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,502
Lookit here, I got you a book.
295
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,271
Oh.
296
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,641
"So You've Been Challenged.
297
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,176
How to Get Ready For
a Fight to the Death."
298
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,046
We're gonna get you
in such good shape,
299
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,281
Old Gary there's gonna
have to think twice
300
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,784
before he kills the next guy.
301
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,555
Eh! Eh! That's my boy.
302
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,829
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
303
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,565
This is it.
304
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,433
My final day of life.
305
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,304
The last time I gaze
on my alarm clock.
306
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,907
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
307
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,780
Goodbye, my trusty timekeeper.
308
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,352
And you, lamp.
309
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:31,889
You brought light where
once there was darkness.
310
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,359
Oh! Off, on,
311
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,695
off, on, off, on,
312
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:41,165
off.
313
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,733
On.
314
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:46,270
We always understood each other.
315
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,174
Oh, and you, my lint brush!
316
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,177
So much remains unsaid!
317
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,347
- Earl?
- Oh, hi, Fran.
318
00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,850
I made Clydesdale
pancakes. Hurry on down.
319
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,153
Thank you.
320
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,354
Oh, God, 12 hours left.
321
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,991
I've got to experience
every moment to the fullest.
322
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,427
I've gotta squeeze the life
out of every second I've got left!
323
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,596
What should I wear?
324
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,705
Nah. Nah.
325
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,910
Yeah.
326
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,779
Yeah.
327
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:46,730
Hey, Dad. Dad, Mom's
wondering what's taking so long.
328
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,300
Oh, my goodness,
the whole day's gone.
329
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,704
Uh, all right. I'll just
go with the plaid.
330
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,974
Uh, goodbye, other shirt.
331
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,311
Gary, Daddy.
332
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,379
Daddy, Gary!
333
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:03,914
Aaah!
334
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:07,518
No, no, no, no. Gimme.
335
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,919
Nice.
336
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,054
Ahh.
337
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,523
Is your father coming?
338
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,758
No, he's still saying
goodbye to his shoetree.
339
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:18,996
I want you to know I'm never
going to call this new guy Dad,
340
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,142
even if he wins
me over with gifts,
341
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:25,769
and cash, and a
phone in my room.
342
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,106
Goodbye, banister.
343
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:33,344
Goodbye, staircase.
344
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,681
I don't want to single
any one of you out.
345
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,251
Hello, Earl.
346
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:48,525
And finally, my beloved family.
347
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,462
"How do I say goodbye to you?"
348
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,634
See ya.
349
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,203
Wait a minute, Dad. You
don't have to go alone.
350
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,249
We can fight him
together. Boom! Pow!
351
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:04,909
If you were 40 feet taller,
I'd take you up on that.
352
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,421
Now, you kids, close your eyes,
353
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,947
or one day you're gonna
require a lot of therapy.
354
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,117
Oh. Oh.
355
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:17,421
Oh. Oh.
356
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,702
Uh, pardon me. Is
this the Sinclair house?
357
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:36,340
Uh, let's see. Pressure
point. Pressure point.
358
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,110
Hey, what are you
doing? Cut that out.
359
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:45,883
Fran, I don't think I'm winning.
360
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:49,353
Look, I have an
appointment with Earl Sinclair.
361
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,892
Well, that used to be me.
362
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,462
Let me introduce
you to your new family.
363
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,731
This is your son Robbie.
364
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:01,977
How's it going?
365
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,534
This is your daughter Charlene.
366
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,236
- Hello.
- Your new baby.
367
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,782
Where's the rest of him?
368
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,006
And I believe you know Fran.
369
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,876
You look gorgeous. I can't wait
to bite your husband's head off.
370
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,912
Gary, I want you to know
something right away.
371
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,349
I love Earl. He's the
only male I've ever loved.
372
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:22,620
No matter what happens here
he's the only male I ever will love.
373
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,756
He looks kind of short
and dumpy from up here.
374
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,991
- Watch it.
- That's my daddy.
375
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,828
Well, from down
here, he looks just fine,
376
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,497
which is more than
I can say about you,
377
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,967
you insensitive,
insecure, arrogant...
378
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,403
Uh, honey, I was hoping
to avoid a lingering death.
379
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,183
Who do you think
you are, anyway?
380
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,967
The guy who carried
your groceries.
381
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,809
Besides, I'm not
even interested in you.
382
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,311
So I want you to go away.
383
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,980
Uh, uh, uh, uh...
384
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,482
Can I offer anybody
coffee? Gary?
385
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,052
Fran, I just thought...
386
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,855
You thought? You
thought nothing.
387
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,458
If you thought at all,
you would have realized
388
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,361
that this is my life,
my home, my family,
389
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,831
and you have no
right to take it away.
390
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,543
Yeah.
391
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:11,368
Earl, you married this?
392
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,036
19 years.
393
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:16,740
19 years. You must
be made of steel.
394
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:20,277
She's had a hard day,
being widowed and all.
395
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:23,380
Listen, Fran, Earl,
I just had a thought.
396
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,249
Maybe I'm not
ready to settle down.
397
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,795
- What?
- Huh?
398
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,052
You're not?
399
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,953
All right, all right, I was,
400
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:33,924
but I was looking for
something a little less... horrible.
401
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,527
Hey, hey, that's our
wife you're talking about.
402
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,062
She's all yours, Earl.
403
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:42,867
All right, then maybe you
better just step off my porch.
404
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,669
Yeah, and put those pine trees
back where you found them!
405
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,449
Easy, honey, I think we won.
406
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:50,307
Nice meeting you all.
Certainly been a pleasure.
407
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:52,543
You've got a beautiful
family here, Earl.
408
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,022
Good look with them.
409
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,613
What a shrew.
410
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,080
We use what we have.
411
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,117
There's this big kid at school
who's been bothering me.
412
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:03,020
Maybe you could come
down and teach him a lesson.
413
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:04,388
Hold on there.
414
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,924
I'm the father and if anybody's
gonna go to your school
415
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,925
and beat up a kid,
it's gonna be me.
416
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:11,147
OK. Thanks, dad. Cool.
417
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:17,401
Still the daddy! Still the
daddy! Still the daddy!
418
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:21,238
Oh, Earl. You were so brave.
419
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,241
Yeah. What moment exactly?
420
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:27,611
You were willing to open
that door and face him.
421
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:29,379
Yeah, I did do that, didn't I?
422
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:31,949
I opened it right
up and I faced him.
423
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:33,951
At least the part of
him you could see.
424
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,053
Did you notice his
ankle was trembling?
425
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:37,587
No, I didn't,
426
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,925
but I'd be happy to say
so in front of the neighbors.
427
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:43,327
Aw, thanks, Frannie.
428
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:46,596
You're worth fighting for.
429
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,032
Oh!
430
00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:54,171
Oh.